God’s Timing

“God’s timing is perfect” I have heard it said many times.  It didn’t feel that way two Mondays ago (June 3rd) when we were told I needed to be admitted and labor induced 4 weeks early.  God’s timing didn’t seem perfect as we came to the realization that  this baby was going to be born within a few days of the anniversary of Stella’s passing.  My hopes when we had this embryo transferred back in October were that there would be about a month in between these two life changing events, giving each one it’s own time.  As it turned out our new baby Joe was born June 6th and the first anniversary of Stella’s passing was on June 8th.  Just two days apart.  And on top of everything I had pre eclampsia complications which required that I be kept in the hospital four days postpartum.  Not being able to go visit Stella on the day of her passing was hard for me to accept, however some really awesome friends were sure to go to the cemetery and visit for us.

All that being said Joe came at the time he was supposed to come.  Even though it’s not the time I would have chosen, having him to hold and love on made June 8th a little more bearable.  I mourned the loss of Stella and held my new baby with so much love all at the same time.  It’s hard to believe that two such polar opposite emotions can exist at the same time….but they can.  When I was pregnant with Joe I often wondered how I could love him as much as I loved Stella…but somehow you just do.  Joe has already heard stories about Stella and will continue to hear about her.  He has brought so much happiness and joy to Jesse and I already but no matter how many babies we have there will never be another Stella and there will never be a time where she is not on our minds.  Anniversaries are hard but the reality is there isn’t a day that goes by that we don’t think about her.

So on June 6th 2019 Joe Reid Ledbetter made his way into the world in a way we didn’t expect.  I was induced 4 weeks early because of pre eclampsia with severe features they said.  We were admitted on Monday June 3rd and the inducing started the next day.  When I had Stella I was induced and it took 3 days to get her here.  I was expecting that same scenario with Joe.  On Thursday the 6th, three days of trying to dilate and get him here it was clear to the doc that was on that day that it wasn’t going to happen.  Plus every time I had a contraction his heart rate would drop.  So after 3 days I ended up having C-Section.  Joe was 5 pounds and 4 ounces and 19.25 inches long.  He was 4 weeks early but required no NICU time.  We were so blessed that Joe was 100% okay and never left our care.  After he was born I was still having pretty high blood pressures and major swelling from my feet up to my hips (part of the pre eclampsia).  So it took a few days after having him to get me on the right regimen of blood pressure meds and the swelling continues to get better everyday.  We came home Tuesday June 11th.    Joe is such a sweet baby he eats poops and sleeps.  We and our famalies are totally in love with him.  We have been shown so much love through visits, gifts, texts, calls, emails and people bringing meals.  We appreciate everyone so so much.

4 thoughts on “God’s Timing

  1. Thanks for sharing your beautiful reflections on experiencing God’s timing. Much, much love to you all. Can’t wait to meet Mr. Joe!!❤❤❤


  2. Uncle David and I send love and kisses. Your son is so sweet. Thank you for sharing your conflicting emotions, your faith is strong. Stella Strong!


  3. Your resilient strength and love are such an example of walking with God. Your love for Joe and Stella is so beautiful and an example as you described the welcoming of Joe & the remembrance of Stella is also an example what it means to have Joy during our pain. I love you ? all!!!


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